Monday, 24 December 2012

Santa You Big Fat Fraud (Best Lyrics i ever read)

Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)

Dashing through the snow
With a one horse who just ???
Put in the ass ??
He knows that but(t)? but still (steal?)
He ?? and gave me christmas presents for me
F-ck ???

Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And go to the mall and punch his face
And tell him f-cking die

He looks like a used tampon (?)
I'm hatin' f-cking ???
And all I want for Christmas is
A knife to cut his head off

Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)

Yeah, well, I'm really feel bad for the poor kids
Because they found out that there's no Santa Clause
The rich kids ?? 22 year old and they not know that there's no Santa Clause
Because the family is so rich
They buy ???
Sounds like "Yo, I want this ?? cars"
And they like "Ho-ho-ho,
Fo sho I'll gave this for you, sonny (sunny?)"
Nothing, nothing!

Life is

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

Merry Christmas

The bells of waiting Advent ring,
The Tortoise stove is lit again
And lamp-oil light across the night
Has caught the streaks of winter
In many a stained-glass window
From Crimson Lake to Hooker's
The holly in the windy hedge
And round the Manor House the
Will soon be stripped to deck the
The altar, font and arch and pew,
So that villagers can say
'The Church looks nice' on Christmas
Provincial public houses blaze
And Corporation tramcars clang,
On lighted tenements I gaze
Where paper decorations hang,
And bunting in the red Town Hall
Says 'Merry Christmas to you all'
And London shops on Christmas Eve
Are strung with silver bells and
As hurrying clerks the City leave
To pigeon-haunted classic towers,
And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky.
And girls in slacks remember Dad,
And oafish louts remember Mum,
And sleepless children's hearts are
And Christmas morning bells say
Even to shining ones who dwell
Safe in the Dorchester Hotel.
And is it true? and is it true?
The most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?
And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant.
No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives to-day in Bread and
Wine. Merry Christmas...

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts
compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.
He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves
just 2 see her smiling
He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @
night without any complain.
He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4
He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife &
His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.
His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.
Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U. :)


Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. :P :D

Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Just A Joke

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!

Jagjit Singh - Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar lyrics

Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar Kisi Ko Dekhna Ho Gar
To Pehle Aake Maang Le Meri Nazar Teri Nazar
Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai
Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai

Na Baadlon Ke Chhaon Mein Na Chandni Ke Gaaon Mein
Na Phool Jaise Raaste Bane Hain Iske Vaaste
Magar Ye Ghar Ajeeb Hai Zameen Ke Kareeb Hai
Ye Eent-Pattharon Ka Ghar Hamaari Hasraton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...

Jo Chaandni Nahin To Kya Ye Roshni Hai Pyaar Ki
Dilon Ke Phool Khil Gaye To Fikr Kya Bahaar Ki
Hamaare Ghar Na Aayegi Kabhi Khushi Udhaar Ki
Hamaari Raahaton Ka Ghar Hamaari Chaahaton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...

Yahan Mahak Wafaaon Ki Mohabbaton Ka Rang Hai
Ye Ghar Tumhara Khwaab Hai Ye Ghar Meri Umang Hai
Na Aarzoo Pe Qaid Hai Na Hausle Pe Jung Hai
Hamaare Hauslon Ka Ghar Hamaari Himmaton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...