Santa You Big Fat Fraud (Best Lyrics i ever read)

Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!

Dashing through the snow
With a one horse who just ???
Put in the ass ??
??
He knows that but(t)? but still (steal?)
He ?? and gave me christmas presents for me
F-ck ???

Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And go to the mall and punch his face
And tell him f-cking die

He looks like a used tampon (?)
I'm hatin' f-cking ???
And all I want for Christmas is
A knife to cut his head off

Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ??? ??
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!
Jingle balls, jingle balls,
Jingle both my balls,
Santa You Big Fat Fraud ???
You'll know this if you broke (?)
Hey!

Yeah, well, I'm really feel bad for the poor kids
Because they found out that there's no Santa Clause
The rich kids ?? 22 year old and they not know that there's no Santa Clause
Because the family is so rich
They buy ???
???
???
Sounds like "Yo, I want this ?? cars"
And they like "Ho-ho-ho,
Fo sho I'll gave this for you, sonny (sunny?)"
???
Nothing, nothing!

Life is

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

Merry Christmas

The bells of waiting Advent ring,
The Tortoise stove is lit again
And lamp-oil light across the night
Has caught the streaks of winter
rain.
In many a stained-glass window
sheen
From Crimson Lake to Hooker's
Green.
The holly in the windy hedge
And round the Manor House the
yew
Will soon be stripped to deck the
ledge,
The altar, font and arch and pew,
So that villagers can say
'The Church looks nice' on Christmas
Day.
Provincial public houses blaze
And Corporation tramcars clang,
On lighted tenements I gaze
Where paper decorations hang,
And bunting in the red Town Hall
Says 'Merry Christmas to you all'
And London shops on Christmas Eve
Are strung with silver bells and
flowers
As hurrying clerks the City leave
To pigeon-haunted classic towers,
And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky.
And girls in slacks remember Dad,
And oafish louts remember Mum,
And sleepless children's hearts are
glad,
And Christmas morning bells say
'Come!'
Even to shining ones who dwell
Safe in the Dorchester Hotel.
And is it true? and is it true?
The most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's
hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?
And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant.
No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives to-day in Bread and
Wine. Merry Christmas...

Who is a MAN?

A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation who starts
compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates 4 sister.

He sacrifices his dreams 4 just smile on his parents face.
He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts 4 the girl he loves
just 2 see her smiling
He sacrifices his full youth 4 his wife & children by working late @
night without any complain.
He builds their future by takng loans from banks & repayng them 4
lifetime.
He struggles a lot & still has 2 bear scolding from his mother, wife &
boss.
His mother, wife & boss all try 2 control him.
His life finally ends up only by compromising 4 others happiness.
Respect every male in your life.
U will never know what he has sacrificed 4U. :)

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER...

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. :P :D

Just A Joke

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!

Jagjit Singh - Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar lyrics

Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar Kisi Ko Dekhna Ho Gar
To Pehle Aake Maang Le Meri Nazar Teri Nazar
Ye Tera Ghar Ye Mera Ghar Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai

Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai Ye Ghar Bahut Haseen Hai

Na Baadlon Ke Chhaon Mein Na Chandni Ke Gaaon Mein
Na Phool Jaise Raaste Bane Hain Iske Vaaste
Magar Ye Ghar Ajeeb Hai Zameen Ke Kareeb Hai
Ye Eent-Pattharon Ka Ghar Hamaari Hasraton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...

Jo Chaandni Nahin To Kya Ye Roshni Hai Pyaar Ki
Dilon Ke Phool Khil Gaye To Fikr Kya Bahaar Ki
Hamaare Ghar Na Aayegi Kabhi Khushi Udhaar Ki
Hamaari Raahaton Ka Ghar Hamaari Chaahaton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...

Yahan Mahak Wafaaon Ki Mohabbaton Ka Rang Hai
Ye Ghar Tumhara Khwaab Hai Ye Ghar Meri Umang Hai
Na Aarzoo Pe Qaid Hai Na Hausle Pe Jung Hai
Hamaare Hauslon Ka Ghar Hamaari Himmaton Ka Ghar
Ye Tera Ghar...

Marrying A CA ?

Should u really marry a CA ?????
When I told my mom that I
wanted a professional woman as
my wife, she got me one; a
Chartered Accountant . She uses
LIFO method while taking out the
refrigerated food. She thinks I am
no good at figure work. Fine with
me, for now she handles the
budget of the house. Initially she

used to send me a bill at the
month end, but when I told her
that I am not her client but her
husband, she asks for the money
in advance. The expenses had
been rising steadily over the
months, so one day I snooped
into the papers maintained in a
current file.. No wonder! She was
charging conveyance and
overtime to the house budget.
She is crazy, I tell her but she
corrects me. "No my darling, I am
the auditor." I fail to see the
light.. Every scrap of the paper in
our house is filed. She tells me as
per some Ordinance she must
keep a copy of every thing for at
least ten years before destroying
it. I am worried. The other day we
had an hour-long fight. Later, I
got to know that she had charged
that hour to a client of hers, in
the time sheet. My time was put
down as unoccupied. She says
that she loves me and I tell her
that I love her too. However, she
never believes me. She says that
there is susceptibility of it being a
misstatement. Duh! She wants my
representation on this & Expert
opinion of some Expert! Not a
long time back my brother's
wedding was to be solemnized.
Wedding cards had been sent.
After some time I started receiving
a steady trickle of letters. I was
puzzled until my wife explained
that external evidence was more
reliable. She had called for
confirmations from all those to
whom cards were sent. When she
cooks, my wife at times does not
go by recipe. Where the recipe
says add half-teaspoon vinegar,
one tsp black salt or one teacup
of water, she ignores them. She
says that they are not material
when taken in context of whole
meal being prepared. She is
crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly
everybody calls her an auditor,
instead. I checked the dictionary
and it did not state that auditor is
a synonym for crazy. The
dictionary must be outdated.
When we got married, she had
given me an Engagement Letter
and I Had said how cute-how
sweet.Now she gives it to me
every year saying that her
standards state that it must be
sent anew if there is any
indication that I have
misunderstood the objective and
scope of engagement. Huh! Apart
from sending me the engagement
letter once again she says I can't
get rid off her just like that. She
says that she has the right of
being heard before I appoint
some one else. It seems I must
keep reading one local and
another English newspaper
published and circulated in the
vicinity of our house for more
details. Phew! For a minute, I
thought that we had jeopardized
our going concern status. Duh!
Dare I say so?? I am told by one
of my female colleagues who is
married to a CA that the scenario
is even worse when the guy is a
CA. Apparently he capitalized the
wedding expenses as preliminary
expenses and is writing it off every
year. Also the time he spent
dating his wife before marrying
her is still under consideration for
valuation under AS-26...valuation
of intangible assets. So guys
please think twice....should u
really marry a CA? And yes please
discount it by the appropriate
rate to arrive at the present value
of the risk of doing so.

To Every Action ther is equal Imprtant meaning !

- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.

There is Meaning To Every kiss. !

"WHAT EACH KISS MEANS"
- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...

Something meanningful...

1. "Michael Jackson's album was only called Bad because there wasn't enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic." —Prince

2. "He looks like a dwarf who's been dipped in a bucket of pubic hair." —Boy George, on Prince

3. "He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner." —Johnny Carson, on Chevy Chase

4. "All that Hubert needs over there is a gal to answer the phone and a pencil with an eraser on it." —Lyndon Johnson, on Hubert Humphrey, his vice president

5. "The only reason so many people attended his funeral was they wanted to make sure he was dead." —Samuel Goldwyn, on Louis B. Mayer

6. "People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable." —P.J. O'Rourke

7. "Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence--those are the three pillars of Western prosperity." —Aldous Huxley

8. "The only thing dumber than a pitcher is two pitchers." —Ted Williams

9. "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?' " —Emo Philips

10. "He has so many fishhooks in his nose, he looks like a piece of bait." —Bob Costas, on Dennis Rodman

11. "If you're going to spit at me, make sure you hit me in the face. Don't be wasting my time." —Dennis Rodman

12. "If I had a hammer, I'd use it on Peter, Paul, and Mary." —Howard Rosenberg

13. "Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking." —Rupert Hughes

14. "He walks as if he had fouled his small clothes and looks as if he smelt it." —Christopher Smart, on the poet Thomas Gray

15. "I couldn't warm to him even if I was cremated next to him." —Keith Richards, on Chuck Berry

16. "I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go onstage and look young." —Elton John

17. "One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged." —Heinrich Hein

18. "She not only kept her figure, she's added so much to it." —Bob Fosse

19. "Love is two minutes, 52 seconds of squishing noises." —Johnny Rotten

20. "Democracy is the worship of jackals by jackasses." —H.L. Mencken

21. "Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper." —Friedrich Nietzsche

22. "You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart." —Fred Allen

23. "Life is a cement trampoline." —Howard Nordberg

24. "He would sell you a rat's asshole for a wedding ring." —Tom Waits, on singer/songwriter Chuck E. Weiss

25. "Start every day with a smile and get it over with." —W.C. Fields

Destiny

I Don't Know What Is Our Destiny,
But, With You I Know I'll Be Happy, ♥
Because There Is Nothing More Divine,
But The Fact That I Made You Mine, ♥
So I'll Give You All The Love And Care,
... And I Promise I'll Always Be There, ♥
When You Need You'll Have My Shoulder,
With Love As Together We Grow Older. ♥ ♥ ♥

For My Best Friend

FOR MY BESTFRIEND ~

You came into my life..
when all hope was gone..
I thought Love was only for the lucky ones.
...
Still, I waited, watched and listened to those
famous words...
...those words I've heard before,
those stabbing words of good-bye..
just because I was always the shy one..

I cried and asked God "why they always leave?"
does none love me?

When time after time, each friend who said they
cared..
would turn and walk away..because I didn't want
to be
'friends with benefits' all because I would not say
'yes'...
they would each walk away.. !!

I learned not to trust...
I learned not to care..
I lost my faith..
thought I had done something wrong..
thought God just didn't care.

Then you came into my life..
changed everything around...
time after time..
you stayed..
even when I pushed you away,
you fought for me and told me you loved me ... !
?!

Now I know,
God never left me alone..
He just wanted me to know pain of rejection..
To appreciate and value His blessings.

Out of all the blessings God has given me,
The BEST one is YOU ... !?!