Sunday, 30 September 2012

Marrying A CA ?

Should u really marry a CA ?????
When I told my mom that I
wanted a professional woman as
my wife, she got me one; a
Chartered Accountant . She uses
LIFO method while taking out the
refrigerated food. She thinks I am
no good at figure work. Fine with
me, for now she handles the
budget of the house. Initially she

used to send me a bill at the
month end, but when I told her
that I am not her client but her
husband, she asks for the money
in advance. The expenses had
been rising steadily over the
months, so one day I snooped
into the papers maintained in a
current file.. No wonder! She was
charging conveyance and
overtime to the house budget.
She is crazy, I tell her but she
corrects me. "No my darling, I am
the auditor." I fail to see the
light.. Every scrap of the paper in
our house is filed. She tells me as
per some Ordinance she must
keep a copy of every thing for at
least ten years before destroying
it. I am worried. The other day we
had an hour-long fight. Later, I
got to know that she had charged
that hour to a client of hers, in
the time sheet. My time was put
down as unoccupied. She says
that she loves me and I tell her
that I love her too. However, she
never believes me. She says that
there is susceptibility of it being a
misstatement. Duh! She wants my
representation on this & Expert
opinion of some Expert! Not a
long time back my brother's
wedding was to be solemnized.
Wedding cards had been sent.
After some time I started receiving
a steady trickle of letters. I was
puzzled until my wife explained
that external evidence was more
reliable. She had called for
confirmations from all those to
whom cards were sent. When she
cooks, my wife at times does not
go by recipe. Where the recipe
says add half-teaspoon vinegar,
one tsp black salt or one teacup
of water, she ignores them. She
says that they are not material
when taken in context of whole
meal being prepared. She is
crazy, I tell you. Surprisingly
everybody calls her an auditor,
instead. I checked the dictionary
and it did not state that auditor is
a synonym for crazy. The
dictionary must be outdated.
When we got married, she had
given me an Engagement Letter
and I Had said how cute-how
sweet.Now she gives it to me
every year saying that her
standards state that it must be
sent anew if there is any
indication that I have
misunderstood the objective and
scope of engagement. Huh! Apart
from sending me the engagement
letter once again she says I can't
get rid off her just like that. She
says that she has the right of
being heard before I appoint
some one else. It seems I must
keep reading one local and
another English newspaper
published and circulated in the
vicinity of our house for more
details. Phew! For a minute, I
thought that we had jeopardized
our going concern status. Duh!
Dare I say so?? I am told by one
of my female colleagues who is
married to a CA that the scenario
is even worse when the guy is a
CA. Apparently he capitalized the
wedding expenses as preliminary
expenses and is writing it off every
year. Also the time he spent
dating his wife before marrying
her is still under consideration for
valuation under AS-26...valuation
of intangible assets. So guys
please think twice....should u
really marry a CA? And yes please
discount it by the appropriate
rate to arrive at the present value
of the risk of doing so.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

To Every Action ther is equal Imprtant meaning !

- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other.
- Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you.
- Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are.
- Playing with Hair: Let's fool around.
- Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go.
- Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.

There is Meaning To Every kiss. !

- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together .
- Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends.
- Kiss on the Hand: I adore you.
- Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now.
- Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect.
- Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...